it depends on the data provider you use.
The DBMS based providers -usually- have a DefinitionQuery property that is appended to the spatial query as an additional where clause.
If you use ShapeFile provider you need to write your own FilterRowDelegate function. For those two functions you need to erform an ExecuteIntersectionQuery on the whole extent of the DataSource.
If you have the whole FeatureDataTable in memory you can use its Find method.
Whatever you do, as a result you should get a FeatureDataRow, which has a Geometry property which has a BoundingBox/Envelope Property/Method.
Take that envelope, Grow() it by some value and call Map.ZoomToBox(env).